Tis’ the season to be jolly, so here at Football Fanzone we have taken it upon ourselves to look at a special bunch of Premier League ‘stars’.
Whilst Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher pick their best teams of the season, our very own Nathon Woodhead has taken it upon himself to get stuck into those who have been a shower of shit for their club.
Underperforming XI, should do better XI, sell them this January XI… call it what you want, just know these lads have been f*cking useless to this point.
Loris Karius – Liverpool
What can be said that hasn’t be covered already? He has the strength of a toddler and the flexibility of an OAP. This lad couldn’t catch a cold.
Alberto Moreno – Liverpool
The fact he even started the season under Klopp seemed like a practical joke on Liverpool fans. Losing his place at left back to right midfielder James Milner says it all.
John Stones – Man City
“But he’s brilliant on the ball” they tell us. That’s great. Seriously, do a few more step overs your own six yard box. £50m? LOLZ.
Nicolas Otamendi – Man City
Nice beard, nice tats, shocking footballer. Aggression levels 100. Talent levels, 0.
Luke Shaw – Man United
Is he actually injured, or is he just too lazy to try? Still, he works his balls off on Twitter and Instagram though, and that’s what counts.
Mesut Ozil – Arsenal
Didn’t even know he still played in England to be honest.
Ross Barkley – Everton
Absolutely landed one on Jordan Henderson which is his only memorable thing of the last six months. Seen sulking in the dugout.
Oscar – Chelsea
It’s all fun and games when you are Chelsea’s main man during a season they fight relegation. Disappearing off the face of the planet when they become good, now that’s a real trick right there.
Adnan Januzaj – Sunderland
When David Moyes has a pop at you, having previously given you a £100k contract and Ryan Giggs’ old number at United, you know there’s problems with your game.
Riyad Mahrez – Leicester
Recently found in a dark room trying to build a time machine to take him back to the summer when he could have joined Real Madrid.
Simone Zaza – West Ham
If bad karma came in human form, this is it. Gutted Gold, Sullivan and Brady, what goes around, and all that.
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